Q: Can you give us a bit of background on your family situation?

I was conceived through anonymous sperm donation and IVF, and born in the nineties to Mum (Andrea) and Dad (Richard). I am an only child in my family, but have eighteen (anonymous) half-siblings from the same donor.

Q: You say you are fine being donor conceived and it has never troubled you. Why do you think that is?

It is completely true to say that I have never had a problem with being donor conceived; the only problem I have had is getting people to believe me when I say this! My parents started talking to me about being donor conceived when I was about four – I have no memory of a particular moment, as far as I can remember I have just always known. This means that for me, ‘Being Donor Conceived’ is about as interesting and controversial as ‘Being From Milton Keynes’ or ‘Having Brown Eyes’ – it’s just one of many things that makes me who I am. I’ve had a few people over the years react with cynicism when I say this, as though I’m some sort of paid shill for the fertility industry (I am not, I promise). Someone even asked once whether I would consider myself a ‘promoter’ of donor conception – I can’t imagine someone who was conceived naturally being asked the equivalent question!

Genetics has never been very important to me – I know there’s a craze at the moment for getting your genes ‘tested’ but it’s not something that has ever appealed. I tend not to be convinced by the notion that DNA is what comprises a family – I’m sure we all have that one relative that we have nothing in common with!

Q: Do you think your feelings might change if you were to have a child?

At the moment I have absolutely no intention of procreating, but if I ever decide to then I don’t see why my feelings about being donor conceived would change. Probably by the time that happens, there will be a universal DNA register anyway, and my offspring will just be able insta-Google their ancestors (if they are really that bothered).

Q: You’ve taken an active interest in donor conception issues, attending events and giving thought to the bigger picture. Why is that?

I think a large part of why I attend events is because they are just interesting! I always enjoy DC Network events, because my parents and I have been members for almost twenty years, so there are a lot of people there that I’ve known for a long time. For me it’s fascinating to watch the advances being made in both the technical side of assisted conception, as well as the perception of it – there’s much more openness than there was when my parents were trying to conceive.

I also feel a sort of responsibility to provide a counterpoint to the headlines and tacky journalism that sometimes surrounds donor conception. If I could ever be bothered to maintain a blog, it would probably be called ‘Donor Conceived, Still Fine’, and I would post updates periodically about how fine I am. I imagine this wouldn’t get as much traffic as “SPERM DONOR FATHERS 800 CHILDREN – MY SEARCH FOR ‘DAD’” (etc. etc.) but it might help.

Q: What are your thoughts on birth certificates in relation to people conceived through donor conception?

I spoke at the Progress Educational Trust event, “Birth Certificates and Assisted Reproduction: Setting the Record Straight?”, about changing the way in which information is recorded on birth certificates. At the time, I argued that including the fact that a person is donor conceived on their birth certificate would remove children’s right to privacy and control of their own information – after all, anyone who knows your name can acquire a copy of your birth records. Since then, I’ve started to think that anything we can do to encourage truth and openness in donor conception families has to be a good thing. Perhaps plonking DONOR CONCEIVED on a birth certificate isn’t the most subtle or effective way of doing it, but maybe we have to make a start somewhere.

Q: What are your feelings on donor anonymity?

When I was younger, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with donors being anonymous – I never had any interest in knowing the donor, so it didn’t bother me that I would never be able to. But over the years and after time spent talking to other donor conceived people, I’ve come to agree that, while I personally wouldn’t choose to exercise the right if I had it, doesn’t mean it should be denied to others.

I think the important thing is just that we consider the rights of donor conceived people above everything else.

Q: What advice would you give to parents considering donor conception?

I’ve sometimes been asked for advice by parents considering donor conception, and I only really have one piece of consistent advice – tell early, tell openly, and tell comfortably. I only have my own experiences to go on, but as they are pretty much all positive I think it’s a good model to work from.

A particular worry that parents have is that their children will be singled out at school for being ‘different’ if their peers know they are donor conceived. I’ll say only this – I once convinced a class of fellow ten year olds that I had no belly button, and that I could remember what it was like to be in a petri dish. If you raise your children to be comfortable with who they are, they will be just fine!