Choosing the unregulated route
There has been a lot of coverage recently about women and couples choosing to source sperm donors privately rather than going through a UK licensed clinic. Several Facebook groups and websites now offer to connect recipients with potential donors, and a number of articles have explored people’s experiences using these unregulated routes. Many pieces highlight some of the more extreme or negative situations that have occurred, and it’s really important to pay attention to those risks.
There are significant differences for parents and children between using an unregulated route versus having treatment at a licensed clinic. The process creates a child – a person – and that child needs to be held in mind when parents are making their decisions alongside their own needs and preferences. Parents need a family story they can be confident and comfortable sharing with their child, and part of that might include their choice of route and choice of donor.
I thought it might be helpful to give a summary of some of the key pros and cons of the two options, to provide an overview.
The clinic route in the UK
The main benefit of the clinic pathway is that it offers a structured, regulated process designed to protect everyone involved. Clinics should verify donor identity, carry out medical and genetic screening, and record donor information securely. Counselling is offered to help people think through their feelings and decisions, and donor conceived people have a clear route to access information about the donor or half siblings, although not until adulthood. Overall, this option provides legal clarity, but it can feel more clinical and restricted and is more costly.
Pros
- Clear legal rights and responsibilities
- Secure recording of information
- Medical and genetic screening
- Counselling for donors and prospective parents
- Structured process for future connection through the HFEA’s Opening the Register
- Clearer boundaries between the family and the donor
Cons
- More expensive
- More clinical and impersonal
- Less information about the donor
- No agreed option for contact with the donor or half-siblings before age 18
The private route
A major appeal to the private route is the sense of personal connection and control offered, where recipients can have direct contact with the donor, potentially meet them, and learn more about them. There may be opportunities for ongoing contact as children grow up or for asking additional questions about the donor in the future. Some women prefer to conceive at home rather than in a clinical environment, and the costs are significantly lower.
However, it doesn’t have the legal protections offered by the clinic route. The arrangement relies on trust and we know that some online donors are unscrupulous, so people need to be cautious. If choosing this route, we strongly recommend taking your time and investing in two protective steps:
- Counselling for all parties – separately and together – to explore motivations, expectations, and concerns
- A written agreement outlining rights, responsibilities, and documenting plans for the ongoing relationship
If the arrangement results in a child, the relationship between the donor and the family will be lifelong. Taking these two steps may add some extra costs but can save stress later. Over time, people’s lives will evolve and children will grow up, so it’s important to have a robust foundation to accommodate and manage those changes.
Pros
- More personal and less clinical
- Greater individual control and direct contact with the donor
- Lower cost
- Potential for information and/or contact with the donor before age 18
- Potential for half-sibling contact before age 18
Cons
- Legal ambiguity for parents, child and donor
- No formal records
- Relies heavily on trust
- Potential pressure from donors to break agreements, including unwanted or unsafe expectations (e.g., sexual contact)
- Possible blurred boundaries between the donor and the family
Conclusion
This article provides an overview and isn’t meant to be a comprehensive analysis. Choosing between a licensed clinic and an unregulated private route is deeply personal, and each option carries its own advantages and challenges. Whatever path you take, ensuring that everyone involved has space to reflect, seek counselling, and record their intentions can help protect both the adults and the future child.
Nina Barnsley
1st December 2025
Articles on unregulated sperm donation
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5yer90xpzno
Legal arrangements with a known donor
https://www.ngalaw.co.uk/knowledge-centre/known-donation-arrangements-uk-law/
Digital Donor Conception – Sheffield University Research Project
https://sheffield.ac.uk/ihuman/our-work/biosocial-humans/digitally-mediated-reproduction
Online Sperm Donation Project
