For our second ‘Big Question’ webinar, we wanted to explore a topic that comes up a lot for our members. The word ‘real’ can feel particularly emotive in the donor conception community where the loss of a genetic connection to a child, usually an expectation for parenthood, can make people question their role and even their legitimacy. Parents worry that it will be thrown back at them by their children, picturing a scene where a child says “You’re not my real mum/dad” and struggling to know how to respond.

All this made us decide to pose ‘How can I feel like the real parent?’ as the next question in our webinar series.

We’ve invited Jana Rupnow to help us try to answer the question, and to reflect on how parents and prospective parents can navigate the complex thoughts and emotions around this topic.

Jana is an international author, speaker and counsellor, based in the US. She has a wealth of knowledge about donor conception, built over the years by hearing from both parents and donor conceived people themselves. In 2018 she published her best-selling book ‘Three Makes Baby’ (available in the DCN bookshop as we consider it such a valuable resource).

Since 2010, Jana has helped thousands of people facing the psychological and social challenges of infertility as well as those preparing for third-party family building and adoption. She knows what it’s like to be in a non-biological family herself, as both an adoptee and adoptive mum. She has personal experience of infertility as she and her husband had male-factor secondary infertility. This led to them adopting their daughter from China which means she also has experience of being a culturally diverse family. All of this puts her in a great position to consider the topic with us.

The conversation will explore themes such as:

• Why does that word ‘real’ hold such power?
• What role does biology play in feeling like a parent?
• How do we define ‘mum’ or ‘dad’?
• How can couples feel equally ‘real’ as parents when their genetic connection to the child may be different

You can also join in the conversation. We’ll be open to written comments and questions from members, either when you register or live during the event.

We’ll be recording the conversation and will put the video in the members’ area on the website shortly after the event. Anyone registered for the webinar will get notified when the recording is available.

Finally, as if all that wasn’t enough, one lucky attendee will be selected to receive a free signed copy of Jana’s book.

[Link to Jana Rupnow’s website](https://www.janarupnow.com)

[Jana’s bio](https://www.janarupnowtherapy.com/category-s/1886.htm)

This will be a webinar-style event, delivered through Zoom, so you won’t be visible to others. It is exclusive to DCN members.

This event is for DCN members only. Please login or join now.

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