Donor conception isn’t the same as adoption, but there are overlaps. The donor conception world, and DC Network particularly, has drawn a lot of its approach from the experience and approach of the adoption and post-adoption community.

As with donor conception, there was a time when adoption was kept a secret and professionals told parents to pretend to the child that they had been conceived naturally by the parents raising them. They might even have been told that it could be damaging to the child to know the truth.

That advice changed a long time ago. In part, that was because adoption moved from a private arrangement to sit under the umbrella of social services, so social work principles were invoked early on. There was a recognition that truth was important, that biological relationships were important (even if they weren’t the whole story) and that, with support, adoptive parents could find a way to share the information with their children truthfully and positively.

It took longer for the donor conception community to embrace those messages. Donor conception has always come under the umbrella of clinical fertility treatment and was viewed more through that medical lens. But adoption led the way in showing it could and should be done. There were lots of helpful messages to learn from listening to adoptees, adoptive parents and professionals working in that field that could also be translated into good practice for the donor conception community.

Of course, there are important differences with adoption, including the key fact that parents raising a donor conceived child were always the ones who intended to have that child.

But both share questions around how to manage information about a child’s origins and how to integrate other people who are closely genetically related into their family story and potentially into their lives.

For our fourth ‘Big Question’ webinar, we thought this was a great topic to discuss. We will be exploring what we can learn from the adoption world and how it can help inform our approach where there is common ground.

We’ve invited Marilyn Crawshaw and Susie Blamire, both social workers with extensive experience in adoption and donor conception, to join us in considering the question.

Now an Honorary Fellow at the University of York, Marilyn Crawshaw has worked since the 1980s in the field of assisted conception and adoption, variously as a social worker, social work academic, Social and Ethical Inspector with the HFEA (the UK regulator) and policy adviser. She was a founder member of the British Infertility Counselling Association. Her research has been with DC adults, recipient parents, donors, adoptive parents and professionals.

As a local authority social worker, Susie Blamire placed numerous children for adoption. She joined Cafcass in 2008, later becoming Head of Practice of their National Improvement Service. Susie was Cafcass’ Peer Practice Specialist on Modern Families, which encompassed gamete donation. Susie moved to the Disclosure and Barring Service in August 2025 as Associate Director – Strategic Lead for Safeguarding and is also a Director of Surrogacy UK. She is the mother of two donor-conceived children.

The conversation will explore themes such as:

*) Adoption used to be kept secret – why did that change?
*) How to ‘tell’ and why it’s important?
*) What can adoptees teach us about the significance, or not, of genetics and biological relationships?
*) What helps build robust families?

You can join in the conversation too. We’ll be open to written comments, reflections and questions from members, either when you register or live during the event.

We’ll be recording the conversation and will put the video in the members’ area on the website shortly after the webinar. Anyone registered will get notified when the recording is available.

This will be a webinar-style event, delivered through Zoom, so you won’t be visible to others.

It is exclusive to DCN members.

This event is for DCN members only. Please login or join now.

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Workshop: Telling & Talking (mum-and-dad families)

This workshop is for parents of donor-conceived children aged 0-7 years. Not sure how to begin a conversation with your child about their donor conception story? Maybe you’re unsure about whether telling is the right thing to do? Or perhaps you’re concerned about who to tell and not tell in your life? Our Telling & Talking workshop is designed specifically with your needs and questions in mind. It provides a safe and confidential space for you to explore the benefits of telling and how to get started. This workshop is equally appropriate whether you had treatment in the UK or abroad, with a known, identifiable or anonymous donor or if your treatment involved surrogacy. You may be wondering how to start talking to your child about their donor-conceived origins, or you may have already begun this process and would like to explore what may come up in the future.

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Workshop: Telling & Talking (mum-and-dad families)

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