Thinking about being a donor

Becoming a donor is a really important decision that needs careful consideration. It can be an amazing gesture to support potential parents who can’t otherwise have a child but there are lifelong implications of doing so. It’s essential to devote time to exploring these implications and making sure you’re confident about your decision.

Firstly, it might be helpful to clarify the terminology used to describe different kinds of donor. This should help you in conversations with clinics or recipients and make the legal framework you’ll be donating in clearer to you. Donors have different rights and responsibilities depending on where and how they donate. This impacts you and also the recipient families, in particular any children that might result from your donation, so it’s really important to be clear.

Egg sharing

Some people having fertility treatment may be offered egg sharing. This is where a woman is offered free or discounted IVF in exchange for donating half of the eggs retrieved during her treatment to another person or couple. This can be a great way to support someone else on their fertility journey and to make fertility treatment more affordable. But as with all donation there are important things to think through and lifelong implications if a child is conceived as a result of your donation. 

In this scenario, it’s possible that you won’t get pregnant but the person you donate half your eggs to might get pregnant. If you both have a child then those children will be half siblings and might be interested in contact in the future. And, of course, the children in the other family might be curious about you as their egg donor. 

For more information do have a look at the egg sharing pages on the HFEA’s website.

Egg freezing & sharing

Like egg sharing, women who are considering egg freezing may also be offered cheaper or free storage costs if they donate a proportion of the eggs retrieved. This can be a very attractive option for keeping things affordable. However, becoming a donor isn’t a simple decision and we would recommend reading through this section to explore things in more depth. The time gap between donating your eggs and using the eggs you kept for your own use might mean that there are children growing up ten or more years apart, despite the egg retrieval happening at the same time. The children born as a result of your donation might be curious about you when they reach early adulthood and be in contact while your own children are still very young. As with egg sharing, it’s also possible that the person who receives your donated eggs may conceive but you won’t. For some women, this will feel positive in that they’ll know they were able to help another family at least. But for others, it may feel devastating. That situation will only become apparent far in the future when you’re ready to try for a family so it’s important to know where to get support in that eventuality.

Sperm sharing

Like egg sharing and egg freezing, people having fertility treatment may be offered to share their sperm in exchange for a reduction in their fertility treatment costs. The same principles and considerations apply as for egg sharing above.

Donating your embryos

If you have embryos that you aren’t planning to use, you might be considering donating them. This can be a very positive option for people who have completed their families but are struggling to know what to do with embryos they have in storage. The same thought process is helpful as for any donation. The only additional thinking you might need to do, is to recognise that these embryos are full genetic siblings to your children. You might be the full genetic parents. So, if you donate your embryos and another family has a successful pregnancy there will be a very close relationship between your family and theirs. Depending on your feeling about this, it could be an extremely positive situation.

Things to consider

As we’ve said above several times, becoming a donor needs careful thought because there are lots of things to consider. The most important thing is to remember that a child, a person, might be created as a result of this donation. It might be hard, but it’s worth trying to think about how that child might feel about their conception and the kind of questions they might have for you. You will be their genetic parent and that is not insignificant. If you have children, they will be closely genetically related to these half siblings. 

If you’re going to be a known donor, that requires additional thought around exactly how that arrangement will work. It can be tempting to assume that the arrangement you are envisaging is the one the intended parents are envisaging, but those assumptions may prove to be wrong. People can misunderstand or misremember things or change their views. We would strongly recommend spending a considerable amount of time exploring and mapping out the agreement, concluding with a written document. This might not be legally binding, but it at least provides a clear framework of the original intentions and decisions that were made.

We would recommend all donors have some counselling sessions to explore their feelings and the longer term implications.