There’s a lot to think about when you’re wondering about choosing to become a parent through donor conception, especially when including surrogacy. There are lots of big decisions to make along the way and here we map out some of what you might be feeling and considering, along with suggestions on what can help.
For many single men it can be an exciting thought that there is a way to have a baby. You’ll need a surrogate and an egg donor, so it’s not a straightforward (or cheap) route, but this is one way to be a family. With surrogacy, you’ll need to think carefully about where you have your treatment due to the huge differences in legislation around the world.
These are important decisions that will impact you and your child forever, so try not to rush and make sure you get good support and guidance. You and your future child will be glad you invested the time in planning and decision making to make confident steps forward.
Getting Started is a brand new event for 2024 for anyone thinking about using a donor to build their family. We’ll have a medical expert, a donor conceived person and THREE parents via donor conception giving all the info you need to help you make your decision.
The event will take place on 13 April 2024 in London and costs just £90 per person or £160 per couple. Not to be missed!
Aside from the emotional journey to think about how you feel about donor conception generally, there are also more specific practical things to consider:
Where will you have treatment – what country and which clinic?
How will you find a lawyer to help with the legal side of things?
How will you find a surrogate?
What kind of surrogacy arrangement are you looking for?
What kind of egg donor will you use – someone known to you, a donor recruited through a clinic or the surrogate’s own eggs?
What personal or physical qualities are you looking for in an egg donor?
What is it like for a child not to have a mum in the family?
What time frame do you have for your treatment?
How much money do you have?
How much energy do you have?
At what point might you have to say, “stop”.
Some of these may not be simple questions to answer but it’s really important to consider your wishes, thoughts and any concerns, alongside the understandable excitement. Take advantage of any implications counselling sessions that you’re offered. This is possibly the biggest decision you’re going to make in your life so make sure you carve out time to think things through.
Speaking with other members who have been down a similar road can really help with the decision-making process.
